Faceoff

I started out with ironclad discipline. I really did. I would wait to be asked to 'make friends' and would then only do so if I actually liked that person. From there, my strict rule became somewhat diluted and I started to 'make friends' with people I knew, but didn't particularly like. Then? People I knew of. And now? People who I hate, but may find useful to monitor...

Profile pictures also annoy me. Admittedly, I once spent a fraught couple of hours wondering whether I'd selected the right one. But even though mine is blatantly posed for, I think those that depict people having 'wild fun' are much, much worse. In fact, people who post pictures of 'wild fun' on Facebook make me sick with rage. When someone is in the midst of true debauchery, who has the time to take the camera out of its case, turn it on, make sure the flash is at the ready and then start snapping? Arrrgghh!

Another type of profile picture that I hate - and for some reason always strikes me as a little bit seedy - are those that have clearly been taken with a webcam or by someone angling a camera back on themselves. One of my FB 'friends' actually had the audacity to caption their little production: "Oh, silly Bobby [their 14-month-old baby] he just loves getting hold of that camera."

What about those stupid applications? Which Disney Princess Are You? Which Pink Lady Are You? Which Dress Will You Get Married in? These are just a few of the classics I have been asked to waste my time on in recent months. Any girl who grew up on a diet of 'Just Seventeen' or 'Mizz' knows how to rig them all anyway. But, then again, I suppose it is fairly obvious: Do you have a tendancy to lose one glass slipper at grand balls? A) Yes, B) No, C) Sometimes.

And one more thing...I hate people that use the status bar as a facility to brag. Did your mother never tell you that bragging was rude? The worst are those that go on and on about holidays: five sleeps until Ibiza, four sleeps until Ibiza, three sleeps until Ibiza. No. One. Cares. In fact any bragging on Facebook is repulsive i.e. creating a photo album called 'My New House', 'My New Car' or 'Me Counting My Big Fat Pile of Money'. Just stop it please. Now.

So there we have it: my beef with Facebook laid out bare. Will I be logging out for good anytime soon? Probably not, I have some holiday photos to upload.