New Year, New Name

You say it is a compromise, but yet he is seems to be not at all prepared to compromise for you.

Compromise is something women do more often then men and it sounds like you are starting off that way.

It is not an insult to take a double barrelled name, in fact if you do feel that you want to keep your name then he is insulting you by insisting on an ancient tradition that you should completely forgo your own family name in order to accomodate him.

No one ever talks about this but the symbolism involved in doing this dates back to a time when a woman became the sole property of her husband, this is where "giving away" of the bride also comes from with the father of the bride (or male family member).

A double barrelled name is a good compromise.

Changing your name solely to his is actually more of a surrender than a compromise unless it really doesn't matter to you at all, but if that was the case you would not have posted this.

I chose the double barrel option and my husband also changed his to the same. Some of my friends have kept their own name and others have changed their name. Often only to change it back when the divorce comes through. There is more to marriage than "tradition" Working out what you both want and what you are prepared to do for each other is far more important.

All that said, good luck with the wedding.

I hope it goes well whatever you decide, it is only a name after all, and most of what I said above was slightly tongue in cheek just to give you some more to think about! If you are happy enough with it then that is all that matters. Best wishes.