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New Year, New Name

By Francesca Craggs on Jan 7, 09 05:28 PM

THE second Big Ben struck 12, it dawned on me.
In six months, 182.621099 days to be precise, I will become the new Mrs Corbett.
I never loved my surname before now. In fact, I've always thought it rather odd. Yet the thought of it being taken away from me brings about a strange sadness.

I'm even ashamed to admit that a wave of jealousy passed over me when my four-month old niece was registered a Craggs.
It may be tradition, but I'm afraid that changing the name I've had for the past 33 years will take away part of my identity. Not to mention all the hassle that comes with it. Altering your driving licence, bank details, passport, etc etc etc.
And more worryingly, my signature. My lovely curly signature that's taken years to perfect.
My enthusiastic suggestions of Mrs Corbett-Craggs, Mrs Craggs-Corbett, and the younger, sexier sounding, Ms Craggs, have fallen on deaf ears. My H2B is having none of it. He sees not taking his name as the ultimate insult.
I suppose there are worse names to take on than Corbett. (Enlighten me folks!) I may have to get used to the Ronnie Corbett jibes that my H2B is strangely regularly a victim of.
Marriage is all about compromise, so they say, and this is one part of the deal I'm willing to sacrifice.
Mrs Corbett it is then. Yes, as in Ronnie!

Brides-to-be can find out more about changing their name at: http://www.weddingguideuk.com/articles/legal/changingnameadvise.asphttp://www.ips.gov.uk/passport/downloads/UK_Passport_Form_PD1_Oct_08.pdf

2 Comments

Alicia said:

You say it is a compromise, but yet he is seems to be not at all prepared to compromise for you.

Compromise is something women do more often then men and it sounds like you are starting off that way.

It is not an insult to take a double barrelled name, in fact if you do feel that you want to keep your name then he is insulting you by insisting on an ancient tradition that you should completely forgo your own family name in order to accomodate him.

No one ever talks about this but the symbolism involved in doing this dates back to a time when a woman became the sole property of her husband, this is where "giving away" of the bride also comes from with the father of the bride (or male family member).

A double barrelled name is a good compromise.

Changing your name solely to his is actually more of a surrender than a compromise unless it really doesn't matter to you at all, but if that was the case you would not have posted this.

I chose the double barrel option and my husband also changed his to the same. Some of my friends have kept their own name and others have changed their name. Often only to change it back when the divorce comes through. There is more to marriage than "tradition" Working out what you both want and what you are prepared to do for each other is far more important.

All that said, good luck with the wedding.

I hope it goes well whatever you decide, it is only a name after all, and most of what I said above was slightly tongue in cheek just to give you some more to think about! If you are happy enough with it then that is all that matters. Best wishes.

Samantha Underwood said:

Well all I can see is thank god you don't have to take on the name of Skidmore, yes Skidmore, my cousin who recently married now has this surname, what a name, I do feel for her! When I got married I too had perfected my signature and trying to discover how to write the new one took months of practice!! Now I can't remember how I wrote my old name, My new signature does not have the same flow that my maiden name did. Oh well the things we do for love!!
Hope all is going well and you are not too stressed yet, a good pamper session, facials, massages etc did the trick for me!

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