Communication

By Brenda Boyd on Apr 2, 09 11:39 PM

They say men are from Mars and women are from Venus.
If the Squire and I are on the same planet we're not necessarily on the same wavelength ....

Yesterday I was 'phoned by a nice man from South Tyneside Council asking if Tyne Bridge Morris could do a spot at a multicultural event in Bents Park on the 20th of June.
I did my Bagman's bit and emailed the request out to the team.

The Squire texted me "June 20th is poss" (possible), which I took to mean she could do it.

This morning I sorted out the bookings list with Yes, No and Don't know listed for each potential booking. 20th of June had me and the Squire down as Yes - as by then only Squeezeboxboy had answered and that was in the negative. I emailed it out to the team to try and get answers from other team members (the first time I attached the 2008 list, so it had to be done twice)

Shortly after the email went out another text came winging through from the Squire.
"I said possible to 20/6/09!!!!!!!!"

So I texted back "Is a possible a Yes or a Maybe?"

She answered "Not sure yet"
Followed 2 hours later by "It's not a yes."

I had to reply "Then it's a Don't Know or a No. Please don't confuse me with possibles - I've got a small brain and it can only really cope with Yes, No and Don't Know." (Fester commented that there was one too many choices in that list)

So we're no further forward.

Is it me?

If my oldest best friend Sian is reading this please could she comment on this (anyone else is welcome to comment too).
If I were to ask her the question "Can you dance on Saturday?" and she was to reply "It's possible" I would understand her to be saying she could, and would.

I mean lots of things are possible, but you don't say it's possible unless it's more than likely to happen (or at least I don't). In the grand scheme of things it's technically possible for Fester and I to ride a tandem naked up Mount Snowdon, but the likelihood is so small (and so horrible to contemplate) that it aint going to happen. It's possible that next week we'll take the funicular railway up Constitution Hill in Aberystwyth(fully clothed), and that is so likely it's almost a certainty.

Maybe it's because I'm half Welsh ....

Comments (8)

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8 Comments

Anna Heywood said:

I would take 'it's possible' to be a yes, I've checked it and its possble to do that.

At the worst, I mght say I'm quite sure its possible but let me double check someting first and get back to you.

You are right Brenda, I would have taken it in the exact same way as you.

April 5, 2009 11:07 PM

JohnB said:

Why,dear sister(yes,really!), do you take someone saying "It`s possible" as an affirmative?
It`s possible that a meteorite from outer space might whip down the chimney and brain yer cat dozing in front of the fire, but it`s not gonna happen is it?
"It`s possible" is taken by most folks I know as being a "maybe" until confirmed later one way or the other (It`s gotta be "yes" or "no" for me too cos Ive got a lot of Celtic blood as well!).
"It`s possible" seems to indicate that the likelyhood of whatever it is that`s going to happen, or be done, depends on other circumstances intervening, (or not!).
For instance, my better half may ask "Are you going to mow that ******* lawn on Saturday? Next door`s lost their dog in it" My reply has to be "It`s possible, Pet".
Cos on Friday night I might confirm the possibility as a negative since it`s gonna be hammering down on the morrow.....or because I just don`t want to.
Of course there would then be a frank exchange of views (she speaking loudly me listening quietly) and I would confirm the possibilty as a positive. The grass would then get cut, the dog found and your`s truly soaked.
However, if some gadge asked me if was possible for me to sweep the whole street with a toothbrush the answer again have to be "It`s possible". Yes it`s physically possible alright, but you`d have to use a great deal of powerful persuasion for me to do it!
Mind you, while "Squarebashing" in the RAF (at Bridgenorth in 1960 for the older reader!) I was "awarded" a punishment duty sweeping out a whole room using only a toothbrush. The word "possibly" never occurred and the persuasion was extremely powerful!

April 6, 2009 5:05 PM

Xquire said:

I think you were wrong to assume it meant "yes." I think the squire was wrong not to stick to the "yes, no, don't know" format.

I'm curious if you've settled this with the squire - in the sense that neither of you is annoyed with the other.

It's the sort of thing that can turn into a long-standing state of friction on a team. I have to say that in my observations, this happens more on women's teams to the point of people quiting, teams dissolving, splitting, etc. Whereas men's teams, such as mine, tend to shrug it off, or just not deal with it - not directly anyway.

Speaking of the Men from Mars/women from Venus dynamic, it seems like women are not interested as men are in shrugging such things off for the sake of the team. I'm not saying one way is better than the other, but I do know that when we hear of the high emotional tone of women's team meetings, we men are appalled. Of course, when they hear how our meetings are superficial, bonding booze-ups, they roll their eyes.

Dance on!

May 19, 2009 9:21 PM

Brenda Mary Boyd said:

The Squire and I first me around Christmas 1979 when our then respective boyfriends were best mates (and still are). When said boyfriends dumped us we ended up sharing a flat together for so long that her little brother thought momentarily that we had a sapphic relationship. I was one of her bridesmaids, godmother to her firstborn and witnessed the signatures on her divorce papers. We've regularly been annoyed with each other over the years but have always got over ourselves.
I'm not sure which women's teams you've had the misfortune to observe but Tyne Bridge has been going for three decades without quitting, dissolving, splitting, hesitation, repetition or deviation.
My experience suggests that male dancers can be far more catty and volatile than women. In fact one of the Kingsmen flounced off in a huff so often and regularly that Fester said "It wasn't worth opening a book on it."

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