Crazy Golf

I'd had a golf lesson the week before and felt rather smug as I watched Tiger's swing and critiqued it to my husband.

Chris's reaction was to slowly peel his eyes away from the TV and look at me in silent, open-mouthed disbelief before turning his attention back to the screen and deciding not to credit my comments with a reply.

Sadly, as we continued to watch the game, I became rapidly less confident that I had the whole golf thing sussed. The ins and outs of it all seemed to become foggier by the second...

"Babe, what's a birdie?"

"That's when you complete a hole in one less swing than you're supposed to."

"Oh okay. So what about an eagle?

"That's when you do it in two less."

"Right. So what's an albatross?"

"That's when you do it in three less."

"But shouldn't an albatross be bad - like that saying when you have one around your neck?"

"No."

"Hmmmm."

CONFUSED SILENCE

"So what about cricket then?"

"What about cricket?"

"Well when you get a bird in cricket that's bad isn't it?"

"You mean a duck. And yes that's bad."

"But why would they have birds as good in one sport and then bad in another? It's daft."

"I don't think that it's the rules that are daft babe."

For some reason I don't think I'll be setting the world of women's golf alight any time soon...