Yet more for the landfill site?

The survey would reveal so much that the cost of printing out the document would be prohibitive!

And can you imagine the energy performance certificate? Draughty windows, no double glazing, no cavity wall or loft insulation. Even if there are low energy lightbulbs in every fitting, the environmental impact rating of your dream castle would be shown to be sky high!

Ask any person thinking of buying a home if they've actually looked at the energy performance certificate - the EPC - and (even if they knew what one was) they would probably stare at their feet, then the ceiling . . . and promptly change the subject.

No property can be advertised for sale without an EPC - but no one seems to read them. And, let's be honest, would you?

If you want to live close to a particular school or round the corner from your mum, are you really going to base your decision on whether to buy a house on its energy rating?

The document could help you after you move in if it points out where you could make changes to save money and reduce your global footprint.

But most folk have other things they'd prefer to spend their cash on - new carpets, bigger TV or a better shower. And by the time there's money for loft insulation, the report will have long since been adding to the waste on landfill sites.

The powers that be in Europe want to know about the state of our homes. And that is probably why property owners are compelled to produce - and pay for - an EPC.

I wonder if anyone has actually read an EPC all the way through, let alone followed up any of its recommendations!