Having to admit I'm not Wonder Woman

They also comment on how well I look which is good considering I am half a stone heavier, only have one boob, wear a wig and cry at the sight of needles!

I don't know how I would get through the chemo if it was not for the nurses as they are all thoughtful caring people who always have time for me.

23rd July
I took extra anti sickness drugs last night and made it through the night without being sick - yippee! Feeling the usual tiredness and a bit achy and restless.

Go to the doctors for my injection and am told it will be easier in my stomach so I agree - BIG MISTAKE. I end up nearly screaming with the pain and have a bruise the size of a 50p.

24th July
Did not sleep at all with the pain last night, am restless and in the most horrendous bad mood. My family can't even talk to me without me shouting at them.
I know I am being a pain but can't help myself; I am wallowing in self pity and just want to be left alone.
Thomas finishes school today and we have nothing planned for his summer hols and I think I am feeling guilty about that which is not helping my mood.

25th July
Restless, in pain, grumpy mood - usual weekend after chemo. I complained to my husband that I was fed up with being poorly and not being able to do normal things after the chemo - he told me that I had to admit I had lost the 'W' off my chest - I am not wonder woman and have to give in to the treatment and let it do its job.

28th July
Woke up in a good mood but did not last long as I am going to work and Barry and Thomas are going to play golf in the sunshine.

Came home from work feeling upset - had a crisis of confidence I think. I had a meeting with staff members and felt it did not go as well as it should have - can I really do my job with this illness??

29th July
I went to see my boss this morning and explained my confidence crisis - she said she has them all the time and I am doing a great job. We talked through a few things and it was then I realised if it was not for Christine (my boss) and my friends at work I am not sure how I would get though this illness.

I have my Barry, Thomas, family and friends at home but am so grateful I have my Christine at work. I have a coffee and think about things and realise I am a very lucky person to have such great friends at work and at home.

30th July
Clothes are getting tighter and I realise my confidence crisis is probably because I am gaining weight and struggling to find something to wear for work. People tell me to stop worrying about it as I will have plenty of time to diet when all the treatment is finished but they are not the ones trying to find something in the wardrobe to fit them.