Dad reckoned it was one of those rare occasions in the becoming-less-beautiful-by-the-week game where each of the three parties involved had something to smile about. Mostly money.

He did add, however, that the boys and girls who pay their pennies every week at the park which is named after our talking cocker spaniel, Jimmy, had very little to crack a grin about... particularly the ones who had gone out and customised their tops with the offending fellow's moniker.

Anyway, the whole thing left somewhat of a bad taste (requiring an extra malteser or two) and got me thinking about my own loyalties... and what it would take to make me break them.

Having thought long and hard, I've decided the loyalty I feel towards the parentals [corr] has to be one which is pretty unbreakable. I mean, on a very basic level, they're literally the rhyme and the reason behind my existence.

And it's not like it was an easy journey. There were needles, petri dishes, an episode dad doesn't like to talk about and big slab of money involved. Clearly I'm worth it x10, but still...

Plus, I do love them lots and we're as tight as my favourite tracky botts (which I just can't relegate to the 'maybe the baby will want to wear them' pile).

I tell them everything, even if it's just the fact that I've done a quiet pump, have a bogey up my nosey, or am planning to build a spectacular tower when I get back to my bedroom.

Meanwhile there's nothing I like better than a weekend with no work for them to go to, and a walk in the park with the doggies. Simple things are the absolute best, I've found so far.

So, in short, I can't imagine a situation which would make me a traitor to anyone who shares my name and at least half of my genetic make up.

If I'm honest though, other loyalties I possess may not be quite so cast iron.

Take nursery friendships for example. I've been going to that place for almost three years, and have clocked up more than two handfuls of "best friends".

Some of them change on a daily basis, depending on our collective moods, whether it's anyone's birthday or who's left to play with at the end of the day. Although I love them all dearly, I think my ability to continually pick and choose favourites is a firm indication of my flakiness in this department.

It's a similar story when it comes to DVDs. There was a time in the summer during which I would have laughed in your face if you'd suggested putting anything other than a Toy Story film on at TV time.

Currently, I'm all about the Octonauts and have given Woody and the gang a much needed rest. That said, it's been a while since I had a Fireman Sam marathon...

Tell you what though, there's no way on Buzz's earth that I'd think of swapping my beloved football top for another. Not ever.

Unless they had a year's supply of Munchies going spare, of course.