Fat Man Football rip Cricket Club to shreds (not literally)
And so it was - the now annual football match between Gateshead Fell Cricket Club and Fat Man Football. What better way to run off that post-Christmas booze, turkey and mince pies than running around a wet 3G surface at Gateshead Stadium. It was a great day for all associated with Fat Man Football as they ran out comfortable 4-1 winners.
Fat Man Football started the game very well with some telling runs from Crinnion on the right wing, with some good link up play from Andrew "Tony" Robson at full back. A dangerous strike force which featured the tricky Simon Devlin (as I type this I've just worked out why he gets called Sid) and a real engine of a man in Kenny Kendrick. The opening goal was a touch of class from Sid as he gracefully chipped the ball over the Club's keeper to start the rout. You'll have top excuse the fact that I am totally underselling this goal, only I was busy fetching the ball that someone had kindly hoofed over the 40 foot high fencing that surrounds the pitch, and I got back just as he wheeled off in celebration. It was supposedly a very good finish so well done Sid. The Fat Man back four coped very well with the little pressure they were put under by an aging Club side - even a stupendous air kick by player, manager, captain and all round nice chap Stevie Nichol didn't cause too many jitters. Phippsy worked tirelessly down the left hand side as his tremendous head of hair wafted in the wind. Their right winger didn't get too much joy from the Ginger General - always great to have a left footed player in your side innit? John Gordon was also putting in an admirable performance in nets as he handled all crosses, shots and mis-hits with ease. Proof that size doesn't matter - apart from when you put your name on a ball coming in, only to change your mind at the last minute and not come out for it. The tinker. It was all part of the game plan however, just to give them an element of false hope that they might sneak back in it. How foolish they were...
20 minutes had past before player, manager, captain and all round nice chap Stevie Nichol (it's his full name) hauled off Sid for a well earned break and threw on this very correspondent for a stint up front with the aforementioned Kendrick who was continuing to graft his little nads off. This substitution raised a few eyebrows and there was an audible laughter - and this was just from me! I came close to opening my account only to be thwarted by a last minute tackle from the little left back lad, who was also the self-appointed referee. He liked the word "offside" which was used every time we beat one of their defenders to the ball. Half time passed with a rousing speech from player, manager, Captain and all round nice chap Stevie Nichol very similar to that delivered by Al Pacino in Any Given Sunday. Marvellous. The second half started with Gaelic talisman Jonathan continuing to inject some flair into the game which absolutely terrified the Club's defence. Fat Man's second goal was a work of beauty from the fleet-footed Kev Wright who unleashed a beauty from all of 25 yards, which hung in the air for around 13 minutes before dipping in off the post. A thing of beauty it has to be said. All in a days work for Kev as he trotted back to the half way line whilst the rest of us screamed like banshees at such magic.
They scored one. It was rubbish.
Shortly afterwards, the returning Sid (who gave Kenny a little break on the sidelines) linked up with Farrell and Crinnion before unleashing another fine finish beyond the keeper. Farrell then scored the goal of the day with an unstoppable effort into the bottom right hand corner - on a postage stamp if you like. There may be a hint of embellishment here, but this not the place to discuss that.
Overall, it was a fantastic performance by everyone in a white shirt. I missed some names out, for that I apologise - I have the memory like a sieve and the names escape me. It was a pleasure to join you in a comprehensive victory. Until next year...