On Wednesday they were like one of those giant Boa Constrictors, slowly squeezing the life out of a hitherto vibrant Germany in the first half before devouring them with a wonderful, daring second half effort.

I must admit, I've been irked by the hero worship of the Spanish at this tournament. I never had a problem with a team who are quite clearly the international side of their generation, but did we really need to rush to canonise them after beating Honduras, a dreadful Portugal and an obdurate Paraguay?

This has been a vibrant, colourful and historic World Cup but no amount of enthusiasm from the South African hosts can mask the fact that the football thus far has been pretty damned mediocre.

Not terrible, because there has been enough intrigue in the opening rounds to provide a few truly memorable moments. But let's be honest, there have no individual or team performances that have approached the World Cup gold standard set by the likes of Pele, Maradona and Zidane through the years.

The gist of it was a re-heated rumour given an England twist and for about five seconds I could feel the fury building inside me. He did what? With who? And that's the reason why it's going to be 48 years of hurt by the time we rock up in Rio...

Then I thought about it, got my emotions back in check and realised that the original rumour was a load of malicious nonsense with no foundation. I don't know where it originated from, but whoever started the poisonous chain mail is probably sitting back in his bedroom somewhere feeling pretty pleased with himself.

England have been due a good hiding at the hands of one of football's progressive superpowers for a while now. That they have been able to dodge a bullet for so long is solely down to the fact that international football so rarely brings them into direct competition with one of the six or seven sides capable of exposing our glaring deficiencies.

OK, there are friendly matches against the big guns from time to time but they are notorious for creating a false impression. It is at tournaments where we really get a sense of our place in the international hierarchy and yesterday's denouement was every bit as depressing as I'd feared.

Well, here's a glimpse into what would happen if Fabio Capello agreed to the same thing..

A Spanish TV channel employed a lip reader to make sense of Capello's volcanic touchline eruptions - and discovered that even Stuart Pearce is submissive round the England boss. A fascinating (and hilarious) insight into what makes the Italian tick - and is there a little hint of humour from Don Fabio in there too...?

OK, we only have to slay three big beasts to make it to Johannesburg but still - daunting isn't the word.

A vibrant, fearless Germany on Sunday before a potential meeting with free-wheeling tournament favourites Argentina next week. And then, just when optimism about possibly matching the achievements of 1966 would be legitimate, Brazil emerge as potential semi-final opponents. That would be the same Brazil that England have never defeated in a World Cup finals.

Forget the thus far unsuccessful search for the real Wayne Rooney or the infernal debate over balance in the midfield - if England don't start to deliver more of a threat in dead ball situations they're finished.

Being able to deliver a free-kick or a corner with power and pin-point accuracy has been the thing that has set England apart in recent years. It has contributed roughly a third of all of our goals in major tournaments recently - two out of the six we scored in Germany, three out of six in 2002 and three out of seven in 1998.

Criticising this great collection of Spanish players, it would seem, is tantamount to treason in a World Cup year.

Well, when I say criticised I should probably put it in context. I was as mesmerised as the next person by Spain's balletic style as they pulverised a very weak Honduras side but I got decidedly irked by the hyperbole being lavished at their feet by ITV commentator Peter Drury.

We've had sporadic instances of player power before (Roy Keane's exit in 2002, for example), but nothing like the tensions that have undermined the French and English World Cup campaigns.

On an explosive Sunday afternoon, the villainous French class of 2010 joined Harald Schumacher, Rivaldo and Frank Rijkaard in the World Cup hall of shame while certain members of England's 'Golden Generation' once again laid their breathtaking arrogance bare for all to see.

But it seems clear to me that, in trying to accommodate one player of supreme ability, England are engaging in a folly of monumental proportions. I speak, unfortunately, of Frank Lampard.

Lampard has been an England regular for six years and in that time has delivered only a handful of performances that could truly be regarded as international standard.

Whose penalty miss finally did for England in the penalty shoot out that followed their epic last 16 clash with Argentina at the 1998 World Cup? You got it yet? The answer, to save you from resorting to Google, is former Newcastle and Leeds war horse David Batty.

Funny how many people can't remember that, yet recall with pin-point precision that it was Gareth Southgate who rolled his spot kick meekly into Andreas Kopke's hands on that balmy night at Wembley in Euro '96, or that Stuart Pearce and David Beckham missed crucial penalties during England's exits from major tournaments in 1990 and 2004.*

Granted, those three things have contributed to a slow beginning to a World Cup that arrived on a tsunami of hype and superlatives and is yet to deliver.

But I sensed a shift in the momentum of the tournament yesterday, a gradual moving through the gears after an underwhelming start. The Spanish struggle to break through a well-organised Switzerland side was fascinating to this observer, even if it was another triumph of regimented organisation over attacking flair.

But if anything is rivalling it for space on my iPod, it is this effort by Leicester City fan Dave Henson. A paen to the Vuvuzela, his clever cover of Rhianna's Umbrella is more Flight of the Conchords than Weird Al Yankovic when it comes to comedy songs.

Despite Diego Maradona's assertion that Gutierrez was the third name on his team-sheet before the tournament began, he was replaced at right-back by Roma full-back Nicolas Burdisso on Sunday and the Argentinian press are claiming that is the end of his World Cup adventure.

While it would be a personal blow for a fine player who inspires huge affection on Tyneside, it's fair to say that you won't see too many Newcastle fans complaining about Maradona's crazy attempt to turn an attacking winger into a defensive-minded full-back.

A young, fearless Germany moved the ball quickly, accurately and with conviction, seemingly picking off Australia at will with the kind of free-flowing movement that Fabio Capello craves in his Three Lions.

90 minutes against the weakest team in their group is not enough evidence to formulate a sound judgement but already they have the look of a team ready to write another chapter in Germany's proud World Cup history.