Recently by Sam Wonfor

Hurrah and huzzah, he of high trousers, ridiculous man nipples and square hair has thrown down the biggest X Factor challenge yet.

Forget having to tease your hair into an oblivion for Disco week or being forced to work with choreographer Brian Friedman without punching him full in the face... Simon Cowell has reportedly banned the cliché.

The student argument that your hair actually starts cleaning itself if you don't wash it for long enough is being supported to impressive effect on Coronation Street.

Rosie Webster, her of the pouting lips, irritating voice and middle-class hooker dress sense, has been holed up in John's gran's attic for bloody weeks now with only her self-importance for company.